So I decided to check out Finley Hall Tennis Courts today since I heard they’re free for public use. Grabbed my racket and water bottle, drove over there around 9 AM. Big mistake – turns out parking near the courts is a total nightmare. Had to circle for 15 minutes like a moron before snagging a spot two blocks away in that cramped neighborhood. Sweating already and I hadn’t even touched a tennis ball yet.
First Looks at the Courts
Walked up and saw three courts total – two decent ones with cracked green surfaces but playable, and one that looked like a war zone. Seriously, the net was sagging like wet laundry and the baseline had weeds growing through the concrete. Tried to hop on the nice one near the fence but some teenagers told me they’d reserved it using the club’s online system. Shoved my phone in my face showing the confirmation email like it was a goddamn trophy. Who knew you had to book weeks ahead for a Tuesday morning?
Rules Clusterfuck
Wandered over to the rusty sign bolted near the gate. Realized fast why people kept arguing there. Rules are written in faded paint and total nonsense:
- “Proper attire mandatory” – okay cool, but zero examples anywhere. My old gym tank top apparently didn’t count because some lady yelled I needed collared shirts. Like it’s Wimbledon in 1920? Relax.
- “Maximum 1 hour play during peak hours” – but nobody’s watching clocks. Saw two dudes camped on court 2 for three hours straight playing on their damn phones between points.
- “No outside coaching” – yet some dad was giving his kid loud lessons while feeding balls. Guess rules only apply if Karens are present.
Actual Playing Nightmare
Finally squeezed onto the beat-up court around 10:30 AM. Served one ball before realizing the wind gusts were insane – kept blowing serves into the damn fence. Adjusting every shot felt like math homework. Then two balls flew into the gated club pool area next door. Guard shouted “No retrieval!” like he’d catch fire touching a tennis ball. Lost both. Wasted $8 in balls because of their janky court positioning near the pool.
Final Reality Check
Played maybe 20 minutes before dipping out. Pro move: bring dollar-store balls if you’re a beginner. Half the people there ignore the reservation system anyway – just snake a court when Karen’s back is turned. Won’t catch me there weekends though. That court hogging? Pure chaos. Overall 3/10 experience. Just go to Johnson Park instead, they don’t pretend to be fancy.
