My Bertran Tennis “Journey” Begins
So I saw this thing online about Bertran Tennis. Supposedly easy for beginners. “3 Easy Steps”? Yeah, right. I dug my old tennis shoes outta the closet, found a racket that might’ve belonged to my grandpa, and figured why not. Sun was out, felt impulsive.
First thing Step 1 yapped about was gear. Let’s be honest, it mostly just said “find a racket and some balls.” I grabbed my dusty racket and a can of balls probably older than my dog. Didn’t even know if they still bounced. Turns out, barely. Pro tip nobody told me: don’t use dead balls. Felt like hitting rocks.
Then Step 2 talked about starting strokes. Honestly, the instructions were kinda vague: “Just swing under the ball gently!” Gentle? Hah! I walked to this sad-looking public court near me, half the net drooping. Tried lobbing balls up to hit like it said. My “lobs” mostly went backwards over the fence or straight into the ground. Felt like a total goof, chasing balls everywhere. Sweating buckets already.
- Failed Step 2a: Trying the forehand. Whiffed completely. Threw my shoulder off.
- Failed Step 2b: Backhand? Forget it. Racket flew outta my hand once.
- Semi-Win: Actually HIT one ball over the droopy net. Once. Felt like winning Wimbledon.
Step 3 was the kicker: “Try rallying against a wall!” Sounded simple. Found a concrete wall in the park. Tried bouncing the ball and hitting. Disaster. Ball went wild angles, came back way too fast. Hit myself in the shin. Made way more noise racket scraping concrete than hitting balls. People walking their dogs stared. Judgey. Practiced “serving” which mostly meant chucking the ball in the air and wildly swinging under it. One landed on my head.
How It Actually Went Down
So the “3 Easy Steps”? Pfft. More like 3 messy, sweaty, frustrating hours. I probably broke some neighborhood noise laws. Learned absolutely zero “proper technique”. My arm ached, my balls are lost in bushes, and I definitely looked like an idiot.
BUT. A weird thing happened. After the initial rage, chasing balls everywhere, whiffing shots? I kinda laughed. I kept trying to hit that stupid wall. Missed 50 times, maybe hit 5 times. And those 5 times felt pretty darn good. Didn’t become Federer. Didn’t even hit 3 balls in a row. But I moved, messed up, sweated, and accidentally had way more fun than I thought just hitting a ball against a wall like a lunatic.
So yeah, if you see “3 Easy Steps,” know it probably means “go fail hilariously until you accidentally figure out one tiny thing.” Worth it? Surprisingly, yeah. Now I gotta buy new balls…
